One word I have never called myself is SEXY.
In a recent women's circle for me international organized, The Yoni Project, we created desire maps, and dream boards and one of the intentions was to include "feeling" words for the things we desire in our life. One of the words I chose to use was sexy.
Calling myself sexy is not something that comes easy. It gave me a little twitch. After all, that term "Sexy" carries with it certain connotations, conditions and expectations because as with all things in this world, we like to label things, and put them in a nice little box.
It makes it easier to judge people... those labels.
Take the "guesswork" out of who we should be comparing ourselves too, who is setting the new standard for whatever aspirational endeavor we are searching for. So we set these intentions but we quickly lose sight that this aspiration is about US and begin comparing our success to a standard out there, that someone told us we had to meet in order to be successful at whatever we want to do.
It goes something like this:
"I'm not sexy if [insert comparison] so I must be [insert self-sabotaging behavior] "
Can I be sexy if I wear Birkenstocks and harem pants?
Can I be sexy if I don't stock my bathroom up with make-up and opt for vegan tinted chapstick?
Is it sexy to want to bathe in nature instead of foxtrotting on the beach in a thong bikini?
YES IT IS.
I'm sexy and I know it bitches and you are too!
We just don't know it. We just don't want to accept it.
What does it mean to be sexy? Let's rewrite the definition, please.
Despite what the dictionary says, it doesn't mean we flaunt around in skin-tight clothes, letting our asses and our boobs hang out, making ourselves sexually attractive, trying to sexually arousal another. As "fun" as that can be.
I think sexy is about reclaiming our sovereignty as women, understanding the power within us, and stepping fully into our power. Not in a masculine "I'm in charge" kind of way, but in that soft, yet "don't FU$$" with me sort of way, you know like a She-wolf.
It is also - and this is the kicker - about stopping this game of the ego. Stop comparing, start being compassionate with yourself and by helping bring the sexy out in women all around you.
When we feel sexy we are filled with confidence to help us stake our place in the world. We look at ourselves as beautiful already, we want to take care of our bodies, minds and spirits, honoring the sacred temple that we are. We get in touch with our intuition and do what feel rights, and let go of what we know feels wrong including people, places, fears, limiting beliefs, jobs, debts, toxic relationships. We ask for help because we aren't ashamed to ask for it and we deserve it. We feel more sensual, we want to have a great partner, it is healthy to experience great intimacy and feel needed and wanted. We reclaim these things not because we need them to validate us, but because we want to live freely and fully and radiantly.
How did I step into this power myself. A few large and small examples:
I started an international organization for Women-centered around JUST this purpose.
I've developed a coaching program for WOMEN for this purpose.
I bought a red bikini for my upcoming trip to Europe - its not about the bikini is about letting go of body shaming and embracing the body I have
I danced around naked in the rain last week at my house during a thunderstorm - I highly recommend it.
I wear my hair back to let my face shine something I NEVER do.
I paid to have professional photographs taken of me (gasp!).
I bring out the sexy in others, I try to help them realize just how amazing they are
I invest in my health, wellness in mind, body and spirit
I deserve this and more. You deserve this and more. The days seem long, but life is truly short. It is never too late to step into your power and realize how "sexy" you are.
If these sentiments resonate with you, I'd like to invite to schedule a 30-minute free call with me to learn more about coaching and consulting and check out my international organization, The Yoni Project, to find out about our women's groups, gatherings, retreats and workshops.