It's Time to Stop Lying To Yourself

I just realized I’ve been lying to myself for almost 40 years. You might be lying to yourself too. Right now, in this very moment. Lying to yourself about how you look, what you should look LIKE, what you like, what you want to do with your life, who you love, who loves you.

Yep, right now your mind is spinning with lots of LIES. Its not your fault, not all of it at least.

It is a nasty little game we have created for ourselves, and sometimes we don’t even know we are doing it. We are filling our heads with all sorts of thoughts about ourselves. It is these thoughts, this “voice of knowledge”, that has created a “program” that runs our subconscious, and the temporal mind that does its bidding.

I am ready to revolt, I am ready to stop lying to myself - how about you?

What prompted this rebellion? I just finished reading a book by a person I consider to be a “thought leader” in the world of spiritual transformation and personal growth - Don Miguel Ruiz. His book, The Voice Of Knowledge, is a simple ready, but as with his other books, thought provoking at a very deep level.

The Voice of Knowledge Don Miguel Ruiz Cover.jpg

The catch phrase at the bottom says it all, “A Practical Guide to Inner Peace.”

Boy wouldn’t THAT be nice? Why yes IT IS. But its a full-time job. Finding inner piece starts by understanding the program that has been running our life since our inception.

“All of the drama you suffer in your personal life is the result of the lies you believe mainly about yourself”

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Voice of Knowledge

The trauma and stories our mothers carried with them when we were in the womb. The affection or lack of we felt since our birth, and various people that came into our life, either as a enemy or friend, throughout our childhood to tell us their stories, who molded our stories, who helped us create the program that has been guiding our entire life - and not always in a good way.

  • We are told we are good, IF we do that,

  • We are told not to lie, then listen to people around us lie,

  • We are told we are not good enough unless …,

  • We are traumatized in some way through emotion or physical violence and correlate that experience to every other experience in the future,

  • We are traumatized with not just voices and threats but emotions and body language, a language we are so receptive to as children, but rarely understand as we should,

  • People leave us and we begin to think it is because of us, because no one helped us process the separation,

  • We are never given an opportunity to truly feel our emotions, or even talk about them, so how do we truly understand them, emotions, the truest form of communication within our bodies,

  • We were never given a voice so we think our voice doesn’t matter,

  • We can’t seem to find ourselves so we end trying so hard to be like someone else,

  • We feel lost at home and so we turn to friends, activities that make us feel better or numb the pain so these become necessities, addictions under another name.

I could go on.

These experiences shape us, and many of us become “contributing members of society”, yay. But sometimes its just a facade. Deep down, we are truly still children, trying to process it all, just trying to get through the day. Many of us raising children in the process.

For the past several years I’ve been doing A LOT of self work. I have attended trainings with amazing teachers, I have journaled, I have traveled, I have met amazing people, I have read books, all of this has changed my life.

But its not a magic bullet. There’s no magic pill for this. Those that try to think they have a magic pill are just using it to NUMB the pain we feel, bypassing the healing and transformation.

It takes daily practice, some moment by moment practice. For hours and days, and I’m soaring high in the clouds of liberation and inner peace. The next moment, I am triggered and shut down like a vault, resorting to old habits, limiting beliefs, fears and withdrawal. It happens just like that. It always feels a little foolish once all is said it done. But its not foolish, there is a lie I tell myself. These emotions are real, if I feel them I need to learn to understand them. We can lie to ourselves, we can lie to others, we can’t trick our emotions so acknowledging that it not foolish, taking the time to understand what the trigger was, why it caused my pain, that is the most important part. It is acknowledgement that makes all the difference, it is through that process we become a WITNESS, not a VICTIM of the experience.

That is when we start to reprogram the program.

For years I’ve told myself stories about who I should be, what I should do, how I should act. I’ve let these limiting beliefs guide my life, and while it has been a good life, with a great partner, and two awesome kids, it could have been better for me and for them. But regret is a useless emotion that does not serve you, or me. So let that sh** go.

What emotions do you carry with you on a regular basis, how do you respond to those emotions in your physical, mental and spiritual body.

There is an amazing exercise in one of my other favorite books The Untethered Soul. It is so simple and yet it gives you some much insight into the ways in which we walk through this world with negative self talk dictating our lives, supporting our limiting beliefs and limiting behaviors.

The Untethered Soul Michael Singer.jpeg

The activity goes something like this.

  • Take one day, take one hour even, and become two people.

  • One person is your physical body, the other person is speaking the words in your mind.

  • Watch the thoughts that come up in your mind throughout that time period.

  • Everything you think in your head, say them out loud to your physical body. Even better write it down in a journal.

  • Say them if you are speaking to another person.

  • Ask yourself … What are you saying to yourself? Does it serve your highest purpose or hinder you?

What is the story you tell yourself?

“What you call thinking is the voice of knowledge making up stories, telling you what you know, and trying to make sense out of everything you don’t know. The problem is the voice of makes you do many things that go against yourself.”

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Voice of Knowledge

Do you tell yourself you are good enough? You are loved? You are worthy of all the dreams you aspire to in life? Do you tell yourself you are an amazing person and deserve an amazing partner? Do you tell yourself how much you love your life, and the things you’ve created for yourself. Or does the story go something like … “ you are so stupid, why do you always do that, those people don’t even like you are care about you, stop complaining so much…” etc, etc.

If your self-talk includes any of the alternate, it is time for a tune up. It is time for a rebellion!!!

The solution for taming the liar in your head is to stop believing what it tells you.

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Voice of Knowledge

Every single person on this planet was put here for a reason, yes that means you, that means me. You don’t have to be defined by the lies you’ve told yourself all your life. And it doesn’t matter who told you those lies or how your program was designed. Today is a new day, a new moment, to make a choice about what you are going to START telling yourself. You can change your story ANY TIME once you make the decision to do so.

Change starts with you, a cliche as that may sound.

There are many secondary characters in your story, you will waste all your time trying to change them, the only thing you can change in your story is YOU. Change your thoughts, change your mind, change your perception of yourself, change your story, and anything is possible.

Shae Sterrett

Entrepreneur, dreamer, doer, lifestyle coach, business consultant, helping you get more done, live freely and fully with total wellness in mind, body and spirit.